Belt Notches, Thoughts

I haven’t really lost any scale weight in a while but today I wore my Spring coat and I had to use the 3rd belt notch instead of the 1st or 2nd! I guess going to the gym is helping me lose inches even if the scale is being really fucking stubborn. We’re travelling a lot this summer and I’m standing in a wedding I desperately want to look OK in pictures at, so there are many reasons I’m going to keep it up at the gym/keto. I have a trip planned in May I’m looking forward to and a spa date at the end of April with Clarke Annual.

But, if I’m brutally honest with myself, I only really like the gym part these days. I’m doing the eating right part because I know it’s what helps the most but I don’t feel like it anymore. Can’t working out 5 days a week be enough, body? Most days I’m fine and don’t worry about what I’m not eating/eating but some days, like today, I’m so frustrated at nothing in particular and definitely want to self-medicate with food. A pizza and a milkshake would be great right about now, I’d love to go and eat my feelings.

The problem is I don’t even know what’s going on with my feelings. Which feelings am I even going to be eating? Why am I angry lately? Why am I sad? What is wrong with my stupid emotions. I need a break from people. Which is strange because I’ve been doing nothing but playing Zelda and not seeing anyone anyway. I dunno what’s up with my brain. I gotta figure out a way to shut the thing off for like 3 weeks and re-set it completely. Until then, I’ll still gym and be mad every few days that there isn’t a pizza and milkshake near me.

Stupid Lifestyle Changes Making Me Happy

Today begins week 8 of keto and week 3 of the gym. I’m loving the gym. I bought a few new gym outfits and all the tops and bottoms were mediums, so I can’t wait to see what a few months at the gym combined with keto is going to do for me!

I actually look forward to going to GoodLife 5 days a week and because we’re going on a cruise for a week in March I plan on doing 5 days a week there too. I have no reason not to, there’s a gym and I can bring gym clothes.

Having a gym schedule and an eating lifestyle makes me want to try harder in other life stuff. I started learning Italian today on Duolingo. I want to be a better baker. And I’ve always wanted to learn how to knit, so why not give that a shot? 2017 is the year of goals and loses and gains and I’m pretty over-the-moon excited about having 10 more months to see what I can accomplish.

Stop Stopping Working Out, Steph

I worked out for 10 weeks last year before we went to Europe and then I quit. When I lost 30 pounds a few years ago I worked out for months, every day. I like going to the gym and I like working out but I have such a hard time getting started. I’m doing great at keto but working out is still important and I want to gain some muscle and lose more fat.

So I started again today. I did 10 minutes of Zumba, which I hated, and 20 minutes of HIIT from a youtube channel I found. It was good enough for today. A pretty good start. And tonight we get to start at the gym! I can’t wait!

Weekends Away/Birthdays

I’m starting my 5th week of keto since we took our 6 week break at the end of last year and I feel great about it. One thing I struggle with is travelling while keto. When we go on long vacations I tend to eat whatever I want and not think about getting knocked out of ketosis because I know when I get back I’ll start over again without much problem. Those planned vacations aren’t the problem I’m talking about. My problem is with unplanned short weekend away, especially without Dave.

This past weekend I went away unexpectedly to hang out with friends. I decided before I left that I would stay keto because I want to go 8 weeks before we go on our cruise where I *might* not eat keto (haven’t yet decided). I was really happy with myself for sticking to my decision this weekend. I still ate delicious stuff but I modified it all to fit into keto and I was rewarded by going down on the scale when I got back home. The more I stay keto on vacations/weekends away the more I realize I can do it long term without so many cheats.

My other problem on keto is special occasions. My birthday fell during the 3rd week of keto and at first I was going to eat pizza and have cake but I decided I didn’t want to break keto so early and to eat things I had just eaten a month before anyway.  Dave and I went for bunless burgers and he made me the best keto cake. I was really happy with my birthday and am glad my willpower and I are getting along famously.

Keto (and life) is work. And lately I’m putting in a lot of work and it’s really paying off. Sticking to my diet makes me focus more clearly on my other goals. Win/win!

New Year, Same Goals, Different Goals

It’s January 2017! I started this blog 4 years ago, and while I haven’t posted as consistently as I wished I had, I love having this archive to look back on. I’ve accomplished a lot and I’ve failed a lot. List time!

Some things that happened in 2016, in no particular order:
1. Boston trip
2. Europe trip
3. Nonnie passed away
4. Started a new job
5. Elodie was born and we’re adding 2 more nieces or nephews to our ever growing list in 2017

Some things I wish I had done better:
1. Sticking to working out. I crushed 9 weeks worth of gym time last year but then stopped completely in October. Oops!
2. Keto. While I was in ketosis most of the year I did slide back into old eating habits twice for a month or so each time. Cheat weekends are great and I can bounce back from those pretty quickly but a whole month of cheating can’t happen again.
3. House projects. I don’t think we accomplished any of them, BUT we did pay back a substantial loan down payment and we’re really happy about that.

Some things I excelled at:
1. Losing weight. I’ve lost and kept off 50 pounds. I’ve got more to go, but I’m so proud of myself.
2. Reconnecting with people. I’m texting more, I’m calling more, I’m endeavoring to go out more.
3. Reading. I read a lot this year, and went to the library monthly.
4. Nails. I did my nails a bunch and am still really enjoying my hobby.

Goals for 2017:
1. I want to lose 30 more pounds this year and am going to continue to do Keto.
2. Get serious about working out. 4 times a week for an hour isn’t that much.
3. Size 6 by August. It’s a massive goal, but I was recently asked to stand in my friend’s wedding and I’m so excited!
4. Blog more. I can at least attempt once a week.
5. Little keto project Dave and I have on the side. Would love to start recording our podcast and blogging more there.
6. House projects. Ideally I’d love to do either my closet or the laundry room reno.
7. Learn Italian. A lot of the people who come to my office speak Italian and I would really love to learn another language.
8. Travel. We have an upcoming cruise in March but we’d also love to go to Japan.

I’m really looking forward to 2017. I’m sure I’ll fail some of the goals, but writing them down seems like a great first step in keeping them at the forefront of my mind.

I’m gonna just get working and see where 2017 leads.

Post 1, Post 250

In January 2013, a few days before I turned 28, I started this blog. I wanted it to be a space where I could write down my frustrations and triumphs while I lost weight. I can’t say that I was always committed to weight loss or that it was an easy journey. I gained weight after I lost a significant amount more than once. It hasn’t been a linear process but it has been worth it.

My first post on this blog was about a pair of pants from Garage. I haven’t been able to buy anything in Garage for many years. Even if I could squeeze into an XL, any article of clothing always looked like pretty terrible.   In the last few weeks we’ve been shopping for clothes for our upcoming Europe trip and I always grab XL first, because in my mind that’s still what I am. He has consistently reminded me over the last few weeks that I am a Medium currently but I never believe it.

Today Dave dragged me into Garage to look for a winter coat. I tried to tell him I still couldn’t fit in any Garage apparel but he insisted. I’m glad he did. This is my new winter jacket, from Garage, in size Medium.

photogrid_1475960976434 2016-10-08-16-11-16

And for comparisons sake, on the left is the jacket I wore in Italy 3 years ago today, and on the right the exact same jacket today.


I’m not an XL anymore. I’m not even an L. I’m firmly planted in the M section of stores and I am so happy about it. I still need to lose a little more weight but for right now, I am crushing it and so proud of myself. I have had a lot of failures. I have had a lot of successes. And I am so glad I never gave up and I kept blogging it all. I got working, Steph.



Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

I complain about weight loss not being linear enough for me basically every day (sorry, Dave!) but since I started taking measurements and working out Mon-Fri I’ve lost a few inches from all over my body. So while the scale might not be moving, I’m moving.

I finished the 30 Day Shred for the first time this past Monday. I’m really proud of myself. While I don’t really think it’s a very hard program, finishing it proved I can stick with something and that seems pretty major.

I like that while I’m not budging the scale, I am changing my attitudes about weight loss and exercise. I can’t imagine ever getting back up to 202 (or 217) pounds. I like trying on clothes, and I like not *feeling* overweight. I’m getting way more comfortable in my own skin. Finally. At 31 years old.

30 Day Shreddin’

I finished day 20 of the 30 day shred this morning! 10 days to go, all at level 3. I seriously doubt I’ll be able to do most of level 3 the first few days I attempt it, there are a lot of push-ups, planking and something Jillian calls plyometrics. I’m so bad at balancing and spacial awareness, I’m pretty confident I’ll trip and fall at least twice a workout.

I’m excited to finish the Shred and move on to another program. It’ll take me 2 weeks to finish the Shred because I don’t do it on weekends so that will leave another 3 weeks until our trip. While there’s no way I’m going to lose a great deal of weight in the next 33 days, I will gain muscle and endurance and probably lose inches.

I even took my measurements last night and while I’m def not proud of them, I hope they change over the next few weeks while I watch what I eat and continue to work out Mon-Fri. We’ll see!

They Say That Working Out Is Hard To Do

So, for the umpteenth time in my weight loss life, I’m working out regularly. I’m 13 days into the 30 Day Shred and while I’m still not able to finish all the moves like Jillian, I’m doing pretty ok. After the Shred I’ll switch to some Sworkit stuff daily, they’ve really revamped the app since I stopped using it and it looks a lot nicer and seems to have more options for strength and cardio.

I was motivated this morning to get up at 6:30 am and do the Shred before work, so I still have to go for a walk tonight to get my cardio in but at least I don’t have to shower twice today! I’m only shredding Mon-Fri and taking weekends off so the program will take longer than 30 days but at least I’m getting it done. I’m not sure I’ve ever actually finished it. I think the closest I came was when I did 26 days out of 30. I’m gonna really try and finish the fucking thing this time.

I haven’t seen a weight decrease yet but between all the working out and really sticking to keto the last 3 weeks I’m fairly certain I’m losing inches and getting muscles. And like my girl Jillian says “you gotta build lean muscle to lose weight quickly” (or something like that, I’m not really listening that intently to her).

Just gotta keep on going downward to my goals!

An August Update

Getting near another goal weight feels daunting. I never except to hit them. I complain a lot that I’ve lost as much as I can and that I’ll never be able to lose anymore, but more weight slowly comes off despite my whining. My other major problem is that I don’t see the weight loss anymore. I can’t remember what it felt like to be 202 pounds and I can’t remember what it looked like. Now I just feel 151 pounds and fat, if you know what I mean. Maybe I should have taken more pictures of my progress because it’s really hard to continue to see what’s changing on your own body.

I guess I had never realized that when you’re eating keto any time you work out you are naturally burning fat first, because there are no carbs there to be burned beforehand. I probably should have been working out the last year but I’m not gonna beat myself up about it. I’ve made great strides in my health and weight loss by just being diligent about what I eat.

I started my foray into fitness on Monday with a 2 kms run and then re-re-re-re-started the 30 Day Shred. It’s my go-to workout DVD when I want to kick start myself back into working out. Jillian never lets me down, she’s not annoying enough for me to want to shut her off and her programs have lots of quick variety so I don’t get bored or exhausted. We also bought an elliptical and have plans to turn our basement into a workout area, further motivating me to get active without having to 1) spend a ton of money and 2) leave my house when it’s cold out. So far the workout area is just my yoga mat and the machine but eventually it could be a pretty cool space.

I’m really impressed at how many times I’ve gone out of keto (purposefully) and been able to get back into it. I’m on day 4 today after a pretty great cheat week and the plan is to last until we go back to Europe in October. That’s right, I said back to Europe! Europe, the thing that started this whole weight loss journey off for me. Being at 202 pounds just 5 weeks before Europe really scared me. I was stressed about not having clothes that fit and not being in shape enough to walk around. Getting to 190 just before we left felt great and I’m so happy we kept it up when we returned. Currently I am 39 pounds less than I was during our last trip overseas and I’m aiming for a total weight difference of 45 pounds so I’ve got about 6 to go once I lose the rest of this water weight from cheat week. I can do this!