Monthly Archives: June 2013

Food For Thought

I’ve been doing really well for the last 3 weeks. Because I’m not weighing myself I don’t know how much I’ve lost but probably a few pounds as my pants are a bit looser and my legs aren’t so chubbtastic. I could probably eat better but I’ve cut back a lot. I’ve been drinking a lot of water, even at restaurants where my weakness for unlimited fountain pop normally knows no bounds. I’ve been making sure to pay attention to what I’m snacking on. I even skipped the pita this week when we went for shawarma and instead got the low carb dinner. Heck, I walked to Subway last night instead of driving there. Dave wasn’t around last night but I went out and walked alone. It turns out I’m way faster when I’m by myself, as evidenced by my split times. It’s raining here today so probably I’ll use the elliptical in our condo’s gym instead of going outside, which kinda sucks. I’ve been enjoying wandering around my neighbourhood. So, everything is pretty much going according to plan. I’m getting healthier day by day. I could be going all out and losing weight as fast as possible but I like the slow, steady routine I’m developing. I hope this is what it takes to make this a lifestyle thing instead of getting burned out after a few weeks of intense trying and then gaining back all of what I managed to lose.

This is usually the point where I start to get worried. I seem committed, I’m making better choices, I’m walking a lot more, I’m more or less watching what I eat daily, I’m feeling better, I’m sleeping better. So of course I’m prone to quitting. I can keep up this lifestyle for a few weeks but any little thing will make me cave and stop working out. I have visions of my bike rusting outside from non-use and me getting to be 250 pounds off BigMacs and Wendy’s Frostees.  Which both sound so good right now. I mean just look at that Big Mac glamour shot. even-a-big-mac-is-too-expensive-for-american-consumers

So how do I keep myself motivated? Do I tack up pictures of healthy looking women in nice clothes? Do I give Dave $2 for every day I don’t do something active? I need some kind of system where I have to be cruelly punished if I don’t stay on track. Not like water-boarding punished, but like can’t eat out for a week punished. How do people motivate themselves daily? I’ll be honest, I stare at picture of clothes I want online but know would look terrible on me cause I’m not fit enough for them. But is that really healthy/the way to be motivated? I just don’t know.

I have a really long way to go in this journey, don’t I.


I love getting mail. I think it’s really exciting opening envelopes and packages, double entendre not implied. Even when I know mail is coming I get really pumped when it actually arrives at my building. Dave and I have had so many things delivered to our unit that security has had to start a second page for us and it’s already 1/2 of the way filled up. Yesterday we got our OUYA and some shirts I’d been waiting for. For our 9 month wedding anniversary I bought Dave and I matching Bioshock/My Neighbor Totoro shirts.

After playing around with the OUYA for a few hours and downloading some fun, cheap games, Dave and I headed out for a bike ride. LOL. We made it 2 minutes down the road when we gave up and came back. Our butts were way too sore. I have no idea when our butts will stop being sore but biking to work tomorrow is likely not going to happen. Some goals you can’t achieve if your butt is too sore, as it turns out. Maybe by next week, and after a few bike rides this weekend, my butt will have toughened up enough for some bike to work days.

We probably could have given up right there but we were in our work out clothes so we decided to wait for an hour and go for a walk. Even with the sun being set it was hella muggy outside. I was sweating something fierce by the time we got home. I used the mapmyride app, it’s really intuitive, once it connected to my phone’s GPS (love having unlimited data, thanks WIND). It logs elevation, distance, pace and calories. I was really impressed at how perfectly it tracked our route.

I think I’ll have to walk solo tonight, but maybe mapmyride will encourage me to keep up exercising every day, even if all I do is walk or bike. One day at a time, I guess.

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Dave and I went back to Walmart last night after work. We walked there as it’s only a 15 minute walk from our place. We rode around on some bikes again and then decided to purchase. Dave made me buy a helmet because when I’m biking alone he doesn’t want me to crack my noodle and die, he’s very thoughtful. He also bought a bike kit, which came with a water bottle, lock and air pump. He’s always thinking of my safety that guy.

We biked home, a terrifying experience. Between worrying about the cars who don’t give a shit if you’re crossing on a bike, in a bike lane, and the pedestrians who seem confused about getting to the right and not the left of a shared path, I eventually got the hang of it.

We put on some better clothes (I stupidly biked in a dress from Walmart to home) and biked to my work to see how long it would take. I used to calculate how far I went and how many calories I likely burned. I only complained maybe 59 times or so on the way back. My butt was getting really sore from sitting on the seat and I needed to adjust the handle bars so I’m not as hunched over. Are butts supposed to be this sore? I’m thinking about getting a gigantic seat so my butt isn’t so tender during the ride. If it wasn’t for my dumb butt being so sore I wouldn’t have complained so much.

My legs had no problem with the ride, I guess because I had been working out for 2 weeks before biking. The bike path is really quite nice, it’s shaded almost the entire way and it’s basically flat or downhill. I would love to bike to work but I also love going home for lunch. Torn. I know it would be great exercise and I’d spend hardly anything on gas but do I want to eat lunch at work? I guess I could demand someone buy me a picnic table so I could eat outside. Ugh. I should really be biking to work. Especially over the summer. Small goals, right? Bike to work 3 days a week, starting next week. Bike to work 1 day this week, to prove I am not a quitter.

I guess I’m going to have to find a back pack.


Last night Dave and I went to buy bikes. We had talked about it for a while and thought that biking together would be fun. Mississauga is chock full of bike paths and trails and Dave used to ride around on them all the time as a kid.

When we got to Walmart we pulled a bunch of bikes down that we thought might be OK. I wheeled around Walmart on a few that didn’t look incredibly ugly and were moderately priced.

You know the saying “You never forget how to ride a bicycle”? It’s a big ol’ lie. When you’re a kid there are no consequences to your actions so you ride around no problem, not a care in the world. When you’re 28 and haven’t been on a bike in the last 15 years you instantly feel a twinge of panic when you first lift your feet off the ground. Sure, it kinda comes back to you eventually, but you can’t exactly get it right in the aisle at Walmart while 5 Asian kids are also trying to find bikes for themselves.

We found 2 that we liked, and then I got cold feet. I will spend $40 on food without blinking an eye but paying $152 on a bike that will likely last me years and will save me from having to use my car, which means not having to pay for gas and getting great exercise, HAH. I blinked so hard I basically had my eyes closed. It takes me a while to realize that things don’t actually cost as much as they sound and that buying 2 bikes is not going to wreck our budget. Sometimes I’m really thick.

So we didn’t buy bikes last night. And I’m kicking myself. Tonight I’m going back to Walmart and we’re buying bikes and then I’m going to bike to work to time myself and see if I’m confident enough to do that on days when it’s not raining. Biking seems like a really convenient way to get around my town, I can’t believe I’m only now realizing this. Like I said, I can be pretty thick sometimes. I even looked up if there was a way to bike to work, surprise! it’s only a 16 minute bike ride.

So does this mean we’re going to buy bike racks for our car? No.  Does this mean I’m going to join a bike club? No. Does this mean I’m going to be anti-car? No. Does this mean we’re going to look pretty funny in helmets? Well, yes, no one looks good in a helmet. Wish me biking luck, I think I’ll own one by 5:30 pm.

PS: I bought 2 dresses. Success! Yesterday was a far better shopping day than Sunday and I don’t even like malls.

Dress Shopping

Hah! Give me a break, stores. I’ve only been dieting/exercising for 2 weeks so please take some pity on me when I walk in to find a dress to wear to a wedding I’m co-emceeing and just have at least 3 options I can try on?

It’s a really frustrating process when nothing comes in your size, or what you think your size is. Le Château helpfully says in their sizing chart that their L should fit a 14/15, XL 16/17 and XXL 18/19. It’s a lie. I know I’m a size 14-16 and I definitely tore a dress a bit up the seam over the weekend trying to fit into an XL. Why does there have to be so much difference from store to store and item to item in any given store.

I think I tried on maybe 4 dresses total from about 8 stores because I would pick something out, not find anywhere near a size I thought I would fit into and then give up. I’m not sure why stores need to have 5 different XXXS items and not 1 XXL, but I was consistently finding that there was nothing I could even try on. I just want to find a dress that isn’t really ugly, really old looking and reasonably priced. I don’t look terrible when I dress up, even though I’m a fattie boom boom so why can’t stores accept that not everyone is a size XXXS and just make nice clothes for fattie booms! Be inclusive! Do you not want sales or is it really about wanting a certain type of person to shop at your store, cause I mean c’mon Le Château you’re not exactly haute fashion.

I can’t risk buying something online at this point, I don’t have enough business days left if it comes in and it doesn’t fit. I’m really out of ideas. Dave even made us look at Sears. We walked around trying to locate anything that even resembled a dress but found nothing save for 1 mumu. It is really disheartening to try consistently for 2 weeks and feel like there will never be progress. I just wanted to be able to get a dress and call it a win, now I have to go back out there this week and look at a bunch of other stores I hate shopping in. If it’s not one thing, it’s another, so to speak.

I guess I was looking for a sign that diet/exercise is definitely worth it. And I supposed I did get that sign, albeit in the worst way. I don’t *fit* into *normal* clothes. Sign seen, world. Thanks.

I just hope that next year at this time if I need a dress again for whatever reason I can go into a store and try on every single one they have. Don’t give up, I guess.

Second Cup

For the past 2 nights Dave and I have gone for walks together. We start out around 10 pm and walk for around an hour. Both nights we’ve stopped at a Second Cup and had cold bevies as a reward for going out at all on a work night past 6 pm. The first night I had cold hot chocolate, the second Italian soda. Why does this matter? Because I decided on the way home from Second Cup last night that if I want to eat out anywhere for the rest of the summer I have to walk there.

Think of the money you would save if you couldn’t eat out anywhere if you didn’t walk there first. Think of all the calories you’d burn after your meal was done when you had to walk back. Dave will claim this was his idea if you ever talk to him, and maybe it was, but we’re married so his ideas are 1/2 my property which means I at least had a hand in creating 1/2 of the idea.

We have LOTS of restaurants in walking distance from our condo. I don’t think we’ve walked to a single one. I figure if I still work out for 30 minutes when I get home and then go on an hour long walk with Dave every night I’ll definitely lose weight. With the added bonus of not eating out so frequently because I’ll probably only want to walk to restaurants once in a while I will save money by forcing myself to eat at home.

I love having a car but I want to work on not being so tied to it. There are so many walking paths and parks in Mississauga, I can’t believe I don’t own a bike. Should I get a bike? Where do people even get bikes??


Don’t Quit

This morning Dave sent me an article about a programmer who took up running to start a hobby and kept it up for a whole year. Back in 2011 when we had first moved into our condo I was jobless. At the beginning of August I was really frustrated about not finding work and decided I would take up fitness to at least do something while I wasn’t contributing to our family income. My dad is a great runner, he used to run a few hours at a time, a whole bunch of days a week. Inspired by this I took up running. I did Couch to 5K. I completed the whole program in 9 weeks and could run nearly 5K in the 30 minutes it says by the end. I kept running for about 1 more month after that.

Then I quit. I found a job and after about 1 month of trying to work out after being at work all day, I just quit. I should have never given up. That was the best shape I’ve ever been in. My legs were strong, I was never winded, I fit into clothes, I felt great. I’m such an idiot. I loved running. Like a lot. I felt so accomplished after running even 5 minutes that it made me want to keep trying. I just got complacent. You don’t pack on pounds in the few days after quitting but I wish you would. If I had gained back the 20 pounds I worked so hard to get off over 2 weeks instead of over 6 months I might not have been so lazy for so long. But weight gain and weight loss are extremely slow processes.

So now I’ve started to walk again at night. I wonder a lot if it’s worth doing 9 weeks of Couch to 5K, or if I’ll feel really defeated since I gave up last time when I had finally accomplished so much.

It’s really hard. But it was a really great experience and maybe I should try again. Maybe I should not rest on my laurels. Small goals, right. I have a goal in mind, I’m just afraid to say it out loud and then not complete it.

So, small goals, right.

For right now: Don’t quit.

June 10 – 16: Week 1: Day 4

Over the 1/2 way mark of week 1. Last night I had spaghetti with ground turkey in a red sauce and then walked for an hour outside. Walking outside is so much more fun than walking on a treadmill. I’m considering taking a break day today, my legs and arms are still sore from 4 days of work outs. I can’t remember what the ratio to work out days/rest days is but I bet you should take one every 4 days. That seems right to me.

After the long walk around my building’s really nice playground/terrace I cleaned for over an hour while talking to Jess. I think I burned more calories laughing with her on the phone than I did the entire time I walked.

Here are some photos I took on the rooftop. It’s 7 stories up, on top of our parking garage. It has 2 playgrounds and this weird artificial walking path rubber which is really nice on your feet.

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June 10 – 16: Week 1: Day 3

Bacon, eggs and toast for dinner. Elliptical for 45 minutes. Legs tired for eternity.

I bet I’ve lost at least 1 pound, but I’m not confident enough to get on the scale. 2 1/2 years ago when I dropped 20 pounds in 3 months I got on the scale daily and then decided I didn’t need to keep trying. Incorrect.

I’ll have to try forever.

I wonder if I can count rest days as the days when I go for walks? Or if I really have to take rest days?

I looked into courses to take for the summer but everything I want is either booked and I’ve been waitlisted or I don’t want to do alone. I need a 1 time a week work out buddy. Maybe I should post an ad on Kijiji.

June 10 – 16: Week 1: Day 2

I guess 1/2 the battle of trying to make anything into a routine is motivating yourself past the first few days to keep it up. Obviously I haven’t seen any improvements in the 2 days I’ve been on this weight loss kick, which is always part of the problem. There is no instant gratification with weight loss. It’s a patient man’s game and I am a very impatient lady.

Mentally I drop out after the first few weeks of any routine I try and start because I just can’t see the end. Will I need to live like this forever? Always watching what I’m eating, portion controlling, working out? Sounds awful, but the answer is likely yes. Why should I get away with not having to do the things that lead to being healthy? Why shouldn’t I watch what I eat and how often I’m working out? It’s really not THAT bad. One hour a day of working out and eating whatever I want in moderation is not the worst thing in the world. The worst part is that after I work out I feel soooooo great that I get mad at myself for not remembering that sooner.

Last night I swam for 45 minutes. I really, really like swimming. I took swimming lessons for years, and love being in the water (hint to my sisters in law to invite me over for diving and syncro and finding stuff at the bottom of the pool competitions). I’ve had a pool in my building for a year and 1/2 and I’ve probably swam less than a dozen times. So dumb of me. Wasted opportunity. Aside from the chlorine smell that lingers with you for a few days no matter how many times you’ve showered, I have no excuse for not swimming more. I did 5 minutes of each activity I had planned out. Backstroke for 5, front stroke for 5, underwater punches while running for 5 (I bet my security guard was watching the whole thing on the cameras and lol’ing at this point) etc. My arms were killing me by the end. In my initial work out plan I decided to swim 2 times a week, but I’m also going to look into pool classes.

Sam took a look at my food diary and said I probably wasn’t getting enough protein/fat each day, so I’ll revamp it next week and make sure to add in at least 1600 calories, and a few hundred more when I work out. Meat, carbs and veggies should be at every dinner. She also said I should add snacks, like nuts and fruit. Last night I had a huge salad and then made pearl couscous. I didn’t have a recipe so I just sautéed some mushrooms, onions and tomatoes in olive oil and then added in the couscous and some chicken broth until it all soaked up and became al dente. I loved it. It wasn’t the healthiest choice, I should have probably used quinoa.

Tonight is elliptical night, so boring. Really need to start looking into fitness classes so I don’t quit again.