I haven’t really lost any scale weight in a while but today I wore my Spring coat and I had to use the 3rd belt notch instead of the 1st or 2nd! I guess going to the gym is helping me lose inches even if the scale is being really fucking stubborn. We’re travelling a lot this summer and I’m standing in a wedding I desperately want to look OK in pictures at, so there are many reasons I’m going to keep it up at the gym/keto. I have a trip planned in May I’m looking forward to and a spa date at the end of April with Clarke Annual.
But, if I’m brutally honest with myself, I only really like the gym part these days. I’m doing the eating right part because I know it’s what helps the most but I don’t feel like it anymore. Can’t working out 5 days a week be enough, body? Most days I’m fine and don’t worry about what I’m not eating/eating but some days, like today, I’m so frustrated at nothing in particular and definitely want to self-medicate with food. A pizza and a milkshake would be great right about now, I’d love to go and eat my feelings.
The problem is I don’t even know what’s going on with my feelings. Which feelings am I even going to be eating? Why am I angry lately? Why am I sad? What is wrong with my stupid emotions. I need a break from people. Which is strange because I’ve been doing nothing but playing Zelda and not seeing anyone anyway. I dunno what’s up with my brain. I gotta figure out a way to shut the thing off for like 3 weeks and re-set it completely. Until then, I’ll still gym and be mad every few days that there isn’t a pizza and milkshake near me.