20/30. Out of level 2! Woke up at 7:30, didn’t even complain. Got up, put on my workout clothes, put on my workout shoes, put on the Shred and got it done. I’m really happy about it. It was really tough to do the Shred 10 hours apart. I won’t be doing that again. My muscles are getting sore. I’m on my way to Sudbury now. Can’t wait to see these ladies in these outfits tomorrow! 10 days to go!
10/30. I’m finished level 1. 20 days to go! I know tomorrow’s level will involve a lot of planking and I bet I’m not ready for it, but it will be a welcomed change. After the Shred I went and walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes. The guy next to me was having a moment. His water bottle kept banging on the little shelf when he ran, so he tried to move it around unsuccessfully to make it stop banging. Then he grabbed his towel and tried to swaddle the bottle, which didn’t work, it only made the matter worse because now he was running at top speed holding a towel and a water bottle. Then his head phones popped off his head. He was a hot mess. I couldn’t stop laughing as my water bottle was quietly hanging out and my wireless headphones were perfectly positioned on my ears. Poor guy. He made me laugh for a good 2 minutes though. Gotta hand it to him for doing that. Now I’m going to go have a strawberry-raspberry smoothie that Dave made me. #workoutperks
When I was 20 years old my ex-boyfriend and his family took me to Nova Scotia with them to visit the town of Inverness. His mother’s family grew up there and one of her cousins had a beautiful, large house on the coast with lots of room for everyone to come and visit him. It was the town’s centennial, and kind of a big deal for Inverness. We all loaded into the car and drove 24 hours across Canada to go to a really big party. It was a great place and I saw a lot of really neat things, my favourite being when we accidentally watched Alistair MacLeod walk to get his mail across from a herd of buffalo. Maybe one day I’ll take this blog to a place where I tell funny stories but for now I have to stick to weight loss and fitness embarrassment to keep myself on track, so I’ll put Inverness’s charm on the back burner for today.
About 3 days into our trip the mother’s cousin took us to a ceilidh. This guy was maybe the coolest person I’ve ever met so I trusted that he knew best about what we should do while we were visiting. Now, I had no idea what a ceilidh even was but when someone is paying for you to do something you might as well go along with it. We got to this really small, crowded tavern-like place and found a table. The place was filled with the elderly and the very young and almost no one my age. I still wasn’t quite sure what we were about to get up to in this cramped bar when the music started and suddenly 80 people got up and formed a bunch of circles of around 8-10 people each. I watched in horror as I realized they were about to group dance. And not only were they about to group dance, they were going to make us trip the light fantastic with them.
They quickly split our group up among the circles and we were told to follow along, that it wouldn’t be that hard. It was a pack of lies and those lovely Maritimers were a pack of god damn liars. I have a really vivid memory of trying to dance strictly with my ex-boyfriend because we both had zero idea of what was going on. We learned quickly that if you’re going to be part of a dance troupe you better fucking learn the moves or you will be chastised out loud while the dance is taking place. At some point a boy of about 13 and I were partnered up. He was a chunky lad, slightly taller than I was, and this wasn’t his first rodeo. He stared at me with such intensity as we were dancing that I couldn’t help but laugh. He knew all the moves and he was trying so hard to get me to not mess him up. I’m sure he was being watched intently, family pride on the line. I still think about that kid. If I ever visit Inverness again I am sure I could pick him out of a lineup. That’s how long and close we had to dance with each other.
Around the 23 minute mark our group started to drop like flies. We were not mentally or physically prepared for this dancing onslaught. The songs go on for about 85 minutes each and you are required to dance the entire time. If you try and sit down, which, believe me, I did, they swarm you and demand you stand back up and keep going so as to not ruin their routine. All around me the elderly and the kids, who I just assumed I had to have been in better shape than, were busting move after move for what seemed like an eternity, while I had beads of sweat running down my face and arm pits. I was in way over my head. When at last the dance ended and we were allowed to sit I bolted for a table and refused to stand back up. I learned in that moment that looks can be deceiving and just because someone is old or chunky doesn’t mean they can’t, quite literally, dance circles around you.
(Basically what we were trying and failing to do)
I did it! Suck it, J-illain! It was a lot harder than I remember but 2 years ago I had already been working out for a month before I added Jillian into my routine, I think that might have given me a false sense of fitness. I got home from work today and put 30 Day Shred on my laptop. She was queued up and I was about to begin when I realized I had forgotten to find my 5 pound weights. I knew where the 10’s were but one does not simply do JM 30DS with 10 pound weights unless one wants to end up in the emerge. I ran around frantically trying to locate them without having to pause her intro. In the back of my mind if I paused her for even 1 second it would mean I would have to do the Shred for longer than necessary. Once I decide to do something it’s gotta happen in that instant or suddenly I’m wasting time.
She is as irritating as I remember her but by day 3 or 4 I’ll be able to mute her and just follow along without her banter and frankly I don’t think I’ve ever found a work out video/fitness person I didn’t find annoying. They’re just all so excited. I should have my own line of work out videos. I’d do a bunch of really awful exercises but I’d swear the whole time and the people following along behind me would be really mad and throw stuff at my head when my back was turned. I’d yell things like “I don’t *want* to do god damn jumping jacks either, but we might as well!” At the end of each video there would be a picture of me eating a no-bake cherry cheesecake with the caption “I work out.” Who wants to pay me to start filming it? Better yet, who wants to be my backup fitness squad? You get some cheesecake too. Until tomorrow, when Jillian smiles and says “You sure? You think you can handle it? We’ll see.” and I scream “You bitch!” 15 or 16 times at my laptop screen.
(Sweaty and unhappy and sweaty)